Flash fictions

To hell with her! - Fiction No.1
"To hell with her!"
Dimple has left him. She has abused his trust, and gone away with someone else.
Though she ditched him, he still loved her and he wanted to marry her. He realized that he was obsessed with her.
He can never live without her.
He got into his car, and sobbed like a kid.
He decided to commit suicide. He was half drunk now but still sane enough to drive the car.
He took a pen and paper and started writing.
“No one except DIMPLE is responsible for my death. Dimple, you won’t be happy without me. You will realize it sooner or later.”
He was actually an optimistic guy, not the kind who would break down easily. But he had been made to look like a fool. How can he face his friends now? Or how can he face others who knew that he was going to marry Dimple?
He decided to walk in silently to his room and tie a sari round his neck and finish his life...
It was raining heavily. He parked his car, walked into his house and rang the bell.. His dad opened the door.
“Prem! Where did you go? Why are you so late?? You could have called me and told that you would be home late. Now look what you have done to your mom!”
He looked behind his dad and saw his mom’s pale face, full of tears.
“We thought you would have met with an accident.”. His sister ran and hugged him.
He was just an hour late!
“Oh mom, I am back now. Why are you making a big fuss? Come on; give me food, I ‘m famished!”
To hell with Dimple. He changed his mind. He was going to live…for his parents.
The Real Actor! - Fiction No.2
The awards function was going on. Shyam Sunder was feeling excited as well as jittery. He knew how much he longed to be present in these functions.
Today he was to get a prestigious award for “Best Actor” for a film. He had dreamt of it all and yearned for them so much. Now his dreams have come true. It was the greatest moment for him.
Shyam Sunder’s name was announced. It was a top honour which any actor would die to get.
There were actually two heroes in the film and both had done stunning performances. It was quite close.
Devender was another actor who deserved the award. He was another hero in the film and had performed well. It had been a tough competition. Devender was an established actor who had already won many accolades in the past.
The bare truth was Shyam Sunder was jealous of him.
Devender was seated next to him and he started clapping loudly as soon as Shyam Sunder’s name was announced. There was a glow in Shyam’s face as he went to get the trophy.
After collecting the award, Shyam Sunder gave a speech…
“I did not get this award easily. It was not a cake-walk. I struggled hard…I had to compete with my co-actor who had won accolades in the past. It was pretty tough…I am indebted to my fans and am deeply honored…”
Amidst noisy claps, he climbed down and sat beside Devender.
“Congrats..you deserve this recognition!” Devender said to Shyam Sunder.
The function was over. Shyam Sunder went home excited and happy.
He was in his bed now thinking about the function.
“A lakh rupees….at least next year, I should not tip these guys but should earn the award….”
His conscience woke up and he slept well..

Bloggorreah !

"Doctor, doctor, something is troubling me”
The doc wasn’t perturbed. He knew what this guy was going to tell him.
“I am not able to blog! When I sit before the comp, I go blank. My hands shiver, my fingers go numb and I just stare at the screen!”
“Hmm, this is a chronic case of Blogstipation..” The doc diagnosed immediately.
Doc: How many times do you blog in a day?
Patient: Twice a day and if possible, thrice too!
The doc makes a note of it. - Irritable Blogwell Syndrome.”
Doc: When did you experience these symptoms before?
Patient: Two years back, when I started blogging, I was tempted to participate in the blogathan and I got...errr…bloghorreah..
Doc: Bloghorreah? That would have been pretty bad…how many times?
Patient: Around 5 blogs a day and I had to copy and paste some blogs. How stupid of me. I acted like a blogopotamus! The blurkers and commentariats encouraged me to blog every day.Then I became a blogroach and at this stage I had this habit of…pcchttt….don’t tell anyone…blogging in my head before I dozed off. Someone suggested my visiting a bloggologist and he said I have bloghorreah and if it isn’t treated, I would get hitnosis and splog as well!
Doc: What did he prescribe that time? I should know your history before I start any treatment! The doctor was bloggerghasted.
The doc thought to himself “My, My, this Barking Moonbat needs a long-term treatment..
This chronic case was going to be a challenge for him!
Patient: He told me to stick on to plogs, blawgs and klogs three times a day, and he said he would get me weaned from this blogistan addiction. But he never told me that it would have side effects like blogstipation and now I am here before you!
The patient looked hopefully at the doc.
“Can I blog again..tell me..please….to blog or not to blog is my question….Can you cure me, Doc?

Read this glossary and you all will know what the doctor and patient were talking about!

Blog glossary:
Bleg ... To use one's blog to beg for assistance (usually for information, occasionally for money). One who does so is a 'blegger'. Usually intended as humorous.
Blogathy..When you just don't give a damn about posting in your blog that day.
Blogger bash.. A party for bloggers; a blogger get-together.
Bloggerel..variant of "doggerel." Opinion put forward on a blog that has previously been repeated over and over and over again until it makes people sick.
Blogopotamus..A very long blog article
Blogroach... A reader who infests the comment section of a weblog, disagreeing with everything posted in the most obnoxious manner possible.
Blurker .. One who reads many blogs but leaves no evidence of themselves such as comments behind; a silent observer of blogs.
Commentariat... The community of people who leave comments on a blog.
Edu-blog.. An education oriented blog
Google bomb.. To intentionally insert words or phrases into as manyblogs as possible to increase the ranking on the Google search engine.
Hitnosis... Being unable to stop yourself constantly refreshing your browser to see if your hit counter or comments section has increased since the last time you did it
Troll... to post a provocative article purely in order to generate an angry response (usually followed by sending a mass e-mail shot to the target audience) and commensurate increase in hit rate.
Whoring (for hits)... Posting things on a blog purely to generate an increase in visitors
Blogistan : Totality of blogs
Blogroach : reader who infests the comment section of a weblog, disagreeing with everything posted in the most obnoxious manner possible.
Blurker: One who reads many blogs but leaves no evidence of themselves such as comments behind; a silent observer of blogs.
Blawg : Legal blogs
Klogs :Knowledge blogs
Plogs: Project blogs
Barking Moonbat: Someone who sacrifices sanity for the sake of consistency