Jeans

Q: What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick?
A: Designer jeans.

Before one can know about genes, Jeans has become a trendsetter. There were days when men were considered freaks and rebels if they wore jeans, and women were looked at, with disgust. However, of late, jeans have become the most comfortable wear even to older women. Of course Indian women do object to it when in India but somehow they don’t find it odd to wear them abroad.

Those were the days in 70s when men roamed about with bell bots or tights (Whatever they called those pants) and a sideburn to sport. 80s fashion made name brands appear in the market. Jeans became a trendsetter with all those brand names making it talked about. Denim, Levis has been there as long as one remembers with other brands coming and going in the market. Wrangler is a popular brand among women.

Bachelors loved the comfort of jeans, not only for wearing, but they were also happy that they be washed only after 3 to 4 days wear. Those who stayed at hostels found it convenient because of the permanent water shortage in hostels. They could do with a pair for one long week.

The name “jeans” comes from 'Genoese' the name for Italian sailors of Genoa who when at sea dressed in blue thick fabric composed of a cotton and wool or linen blend

By 1940, Jeans became a leisurewear in US. It is said that Marlon Brando started wearing it in 1950s and it became associated with the pop and rock and roll music as well.

Jeans became popular mainly because of the “western movies” or the “cowboy” movies as they called it. Denim became popular in 1950s.

In 1980, designer jeans came into vogue and we could see men roaming about in torn jeans and stone washed jeans and people waited with abated breath to see what would become of these jeans next. However, anything which becomes a fad is generally objected by the older generation. Teenage students started wearing them and the parents who associated jeans to the hippies felt that it was a symbol of rebel if the teenagers wore it, more so, when faded jeans came into fashion. Even now jeans are considered casual wears and objected to by schools and colleges.

When jeans was considered a symbol of rebel, it became even more so when women started wearing it. Old-fashioned women were not happy about these skintight wears. Some Churches also do not allow jeans because wearing jeans means showing disrespect to God, they say.

In 2000, the brands came out with jackets and shoes etc made out of the same material, which was once used, by coal miners and sailors as work clothes.

However not everyone looks nice with jeans as the joke goes:

A woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable to her when she squeezed into a pair of her old blue jeans. Wondering if the added weight was noticeable to everyone else, she asked her husband, "Honey, do these jeans make me look like the side of the house?" "No, dear, not at all," he replied, "Our house isn't blue."

There is also this joke about a happy dieting woman.

After going on a diet, a woman felt really good about herself, especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown a long time ago."Look! Look!" she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband. "I can wear my old jeans again!" Her husband looked at her for a long time, then he said, "Honey, I love you, but those are my jeans."

It was also a tough task to distinguish between men and women when they started wearing similar type of jeans and T-shirts.. There is this case of a mother and a daughter!

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

Of late, Levis Brand is making a technology revolution. Sources say that Ipod compatible jeans are a talk in the market.

“Designed for both men and women, the jeans seamlessly integrate iPod plug and play technology giving music enthusiasts the most innovative and fashionable way to enjoy music on the go. The jean is designed to be compatible with most iPod systems and features include a special joystick incorporated into the jeans' watch pocket to enable easy operation of the iPod “

Therefore, jeans are here to stay!

PC musings!

I got introduced to the PC in 80s, during those days when Dos, WordStar and Lotus123 ruled the roost. “Abort, Retry, Ignore?” was the order of the day.and one was to stick to the Rule “Know what to expect before you connect” I was lucky enough then, to operate a brand new pc, which my cousin brother had purchased for his company.

Till then, all I knew about computers was that they are large machines, which badly need an AC hall, and punch cards were its source of input. I, along with my classmates, in college, was taken on an excursion to IIT, Chennai. They were the proud owners of this machine.

When PC came into existence, Basic, Cobol and Fortran taught the PC-mantras while the Dbase programmers were the heroes. They had a gala time with their software programmes and were minting money but, as the saying goes, for every hero, there is a villain, is it not? To make things worse, the viruses made their appearance. The raindrop virus which made the alphabets drop down like raindrops was a sight to watch, and needless to say, the Jerusalem virus made the computer nerds shiver on their foot on Friday the 13th. Many more viruses made their way into the systems devouring all information from the system and made the pc give a pitiable look. There were only a few know-all computer service personnel who would just shake their head, give a sympathetic look, wipe out everything from the pc, and format the system completely. Then, calmly placing their floppies in the box, all they could say was “I am sorry to say you would have to start from the scratch!” Installing games also contributed to this havoc. But now the CDs and DVDs have set a smooth path for the future users.

The keyboard did its duty very well till the mouse entered the scene. At the same time, they closed the doors for Dos and opened Windows. Windows struggled for sometime and stabilized at 98. But, as they say, to every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,

Windows had its errors, in parallel to its success. Users remarked: that Windows was a “colorful clown” of DOS. Some said, “In a world without walls and fences - who needs windows and gates?” In addition, there was this joke on Windows:.

Customer: I'm running Windows 95...Helpdesk: Yes...Customer: ...and now my computer stopped working!Helpdesk: Yes, you already said that!

But Windows never deterred from doing its duty even though it was being threatened with other heroes and heroines making their appearances. They say that Linux has caught the market now. However I read somewhere in the net:

“Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer works.Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works.DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn't work.Windows is for those who don't want to know why their computer doesn't work.”

PC s started entering homes and, while people were trying to get familiarized with ctrl-alt-del, enter and escape, the internet came in and the Head of the families started scratching their heads when they got whopping telephone bills because of the dial-ups.

Broadband saved the Heads from committing suicide. By then, housewives were eager to know about how to chat on Yahoo Messenger in order to talk to their sons who went abroad to teach the Americans how to use PCs and Internet. A homemaker came to me one day and asked me “ I heard that you have a pc at home and you know something about Internet. Do you know Gokul?” I have heard of Gates but who was Gokul? I switched on the PC, launched the IE and hit at Google. ‘Yeah yeah, this was what I said!” She exclaimed. Way to go! I had to explain to her that ‘Gokul” is a search engine which would cough out any information we wanted to know. She can type out even her husband’s name and find out about him if need be, I told her. “Would I be able to find out why he came late yesterday and why his shirt smelt of perfume?” Well, a wife is a wife, after all! Google is doing great, no doubt, with its Adsense, Adwords and whatnot but I request Google to set up tools like “Google Trackers” to help these housewives and increase its saleability. Not to forget Y2K was the talk of the town at that juncture.

Having a PC at home has done me good especially when it comes to blogging. I am able to ramble, muse, write stories (Whether people read it or not). There are many homemakers who have hidden talents and who can exhibit their writings in blogs. A homemaker decided to open a blog for cookery and now she has four cookery blogs in blogspot. There are many examples, which can be cited. Women in general love to make full use of whatever knowledge they gain. If only they quit watching megaserials and switch over to the Internet, they can do wonders.

It is said that “Online men are more likely to check the weather, get news, get do-it-yourself information, check for sports information, get political information while women use e-mail, get maps and directions, look for health and medical information, use Web sites to get support for health or personal problems, and get religious information.”

However the interactive processes in the internet and the attractive online working schemes are luring the homemakers towards internet. Isnt it a healthy trend? And what next?

The alienated humans

“Can’t you come and give me a hand in the kitchen? I don’t understand what’s there in TV all the 24 hours!” Sowmya screeched at the top of her voice.
Bala continued watching the program on UFOs. He was a big fan of the Aliens, UFO.s and such weird theories and fantasies.
“Aliens must have visited our solar system once every 10,000 years. Are they all visiting Earth? Are we at the centre of some inter-galactic trade route?”
His eyes stayed glued to the TV.
But he was well aware of the existing theory that wife is more important than aliens and that made him respond to his wife’s call.
“Ya, coming, wait!” The response was quick but he never stopped watching TV.
“….Very human looking ... some say that if you were to meet one on the street you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. These aliens operate together with other alien types. They are supposed to have landed five years ago and now they have multiplied here and mingled with the humans and exist in human form! Some report that aliens kidnap humans and take them either on their ships for all sorts of tests and manipulations..”
“I wish they kidnap Sowmya!” He said to himself.
Bala stood there with the remote control in his hand ready to switch off anytime when his wife screams next.
“Balaaaaaaaa…..”
“I said I am coming. Why are you shouting?”
He took a few steps towards the kitchen but still was hearing what was being said on the TV.
“Why, even your co-worker may be an alien. Watch out for these signs in them!
1.Watch out for their indifferent taste in their dresses. Striped pants and checked shirts almost looking like clowns.
2. Their unusual eating habits.
3. Weird sense of humour where they would laugh when you are engaged in a serious conversation.
4. They might take frequent breaks and doze off for a few seconds in between conversations.
5. They will ask stupid questions. If no one answers, they might talk to themselves.
6. An alien may experience a mood change when an electronic item is switched on.”
He was so engrossed in TV watching, Bala did not notice his nosy house owner who came to collect his rent. He had been actually asking the couple to vacate the house. The house-owner had no other go but to watch the show along with Bala. He left after a few minutes knowing that Bala is not going to vacate the house that month.
Bala’s thoughts were all about the aliens. How is he going to deal with these aliens? How would he find out?
Bala was so worried. He started thinking about his colleagues who had these strange behaviors. Who knows? They might be aliens.
Can Rahul Varma be an alien? He had this penchant for wearing weird clothes and he remembered his co-workers teasing Rahul that he looked like a clown. He ate food with weird combo – dosa and jam – yucks and chappathi with curd – more yucky.
On the other hand, could it be Ramaswamy? He loved to doze off now and then while typing out documents and asked stupid questions now and then.
“No, they don’t have all these signs” He convinced himself.
He came back to his senses when Sowmya called him again. It’s been a year since he married her and there were at least a couple of arguments between them everyday.
“Good, now light the stove and boil the milk!” She said softly.
He switched on the microwave oven.
“Balaaa..whats wrong with you? I told you to light the gas stove and you switch on the oven? Blah, blah, blah..” Sowmya lost her temper. She could not stand it anymore. She blew her top.
Bala stared at her. Ha! It’s her alien mood!
It was the mood swing and that too just because he switched on the microwave oven! After all, he felt, he switched it off immediately!
Could she be….an…alien? Bala decided to use his detective brain from now on.
Sowmya lighted the stove, put the milk on to boil, and rushed to get ready.
“Now it’s already getting late!” Sowmya was back after a bath.
She wore her favourite striped shirt. Every Friday, informal wear was allowed in her office and since she had no time to select her dress being already late, she picked up this one.
Bala was too stunned for words.
“She is..an..alien!” He said to himself. “It is definite!”
“Now what are you talking to yourself? Don’t you dare mumble? Speak out if you have the guts!” Sowmya told him.
She was in full form that day.
All she could do was grab 2 slices of bread, gobble it up and leave.
“Bala, are you ready? I said I wanna go shopping today.” She said as she came back from office.
“What a stupid question? Didn’t I call her 10 minutes back and tell her I would be waiting at home? Huh! Stupid! I caught her now! God! It is confirmed! I must report to them” Bala almost came to a conclusion that she might be an alien.
“Balaaaa..whats wrong with you? Stop the car. I have to get down now!”
His car came to a screeching halt in front of her office. As soon as she left, he took his cell phone.
“Woztech132 calling from earth! Woztech132 calling from earth! Is it Zytech10112?”
‘I’ve fumbled in my research!” he said. He had married Sowmya thinking she was a human. “My wife is an alien!”
“Nonsense! You are supposed to research on humans and that too, women as wives! Come back then! You are a flop!”
Sowmya went inside her office, and assuring herself that no one is around, took out her cell phone.
“Is it Zygot70001? It’s me, Begot80721 from Earth! There is another alien here disguised as a human. He has spotted me! I have to escape. Shall I come back?”
Apart for these two calls, there was another call to the UFO Research Center. It was from their house owner.
“I’ve spotted two aliens here. They are staying in my house. I will give you the address!”
This was the only way he could make them vacate the house!